Now that you’re engaged, I know that one of the top questions in your mind is, “who will be in my wedding party?”. There are a lot of things to consider, and at first, you’re likely to write a list that’s a bit too long!  You may think it’s strange for a blog post about how to choose your bridesmaids to appear on a wedding photography blog, but remember: I get a behind-the-scenes look into a lot of weddings, and having the right ladies to support you on the big day can mean the difference between a relaxing day all about you, and a chaotic day full of drama and mishaps.

Tip #1 – throw out the old fashioned rules! You don’t have to have your future sister-in-law in your wedding party if you two aren’t close, and you don’t have to include people you haven’t spoken to recently just because you were in their wedding party. Weddings these days don’t have to follow old fashioned rules, so pick the people who will really be supportive and helpful. I can’t tell you the number of bridesmaids I’ve seen who just can’t let the bride have the attention, bridesmaids who aren’t helpful, bridesmaids who complain and are negative all day, or ones who drink too much and cause a scene.  If you have friends like this, it’s best to keep them on the guest list!

Tip #2 – Consider where they are in their own lives. Being a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor is a pretty big duty! If your friend is expecting, and will have a newborn or possibly be on bedrest when your wedding rolls around, she can’t commit to being in your wedding party. If your best friend now lives across the country, will she be able to afford the travel on top of the cost of her dress, gifts, parties, etc? The average cost of being someone’s bridesmaid these days is over $1,000. When you choose your bridesmaids, keep this cost in mind.

Tip #3 – Keep in mind how close of a friend each of your potential bridesmaids is.  Are you comfortable being emotional and changing in front of them? Will they get along with your other bridesmaids? Again, this comes down to keeping the drama out of your wedding day, and making sure that you don’t feel like you have to entertain difficult people when you’re confronted with wedding day jitters and a strict timeline!

Remember, your photos with these girls will last forever! Make sure when you choose your bridesmaids, that they will also be with you forever! They should be supportive, fun, helpful, and genuinely happy for you. That last part is the number one question to consider. Are they genuinely happy for you, or are they jealous and/or bitter? A true friend and/or sister will be happy to see you happy!

Finally, when you’ve chosen your bridesmaids and you’re ready to ask them to be a part of your big day, I ran across a super sweet, simple little poem that would be perfect in a gift box mailed or delivered to your potential bridesmaid, along with a sparkly card and a small bottle of champagne or another treat!